I've hesitated to write this newsletter because I don't want to
offend anyone...

So I'm going to go out on a limb here and tell you something
I believe that you may or may not agree with:

You don't need your family's help or permission to lose weight.

I talk to readers and hear fairly often that it's difficult for
them to lose weight because their husband or kids (or both) continue
to demand or buy high-fat, high-carb food items.

They feel that without household support, it's impossible for
them to lose weight.

While I certainly believe it HELPS immeasurably to have support,
the reality is that in most cases, it's not going to happen.

Why?  The reasons vary for each person's situation.  But sometimes,
it's because the other people in the household are unable to
control their eating habits; are experiencing depression or other
emotional issues that control their eating; or haven't been taught
"good" ways to eat.  

I also sometimes suspect that other family members will hold back
support for those trying to lose weight because then it will force
them to deal with their own food issues and magnifies their own
unhealthy self-image.

Rather than analyze WHY the ones you love won't support you, just
decide to love them where they are and focus on what you can do
to help yourself.  The hardest part will be getting through the
first couple weeks.  Once you start to lose weight, believe me,
your household will notice.

Within a few months, you may find their food habits changing.

My kids now make wise food choices on their own, after watching
my husband and I do so.  I didn't ban them from eating snacks
we choose not to eat--but now they will automatically self-regulate
their eating because they see us do the same.

Think about it logically for a moment.



If your spouse loves eating Ding-Dongs, and you tell him or her
they can't eat them any more because YOU need to go on a diet--
chances are good they won't react in a supportive way.

So go ahead and buy your spouse those Ding-Dongs.  You find
yourself a substitute that you enjoy just as much--but with fewer
carbs and sugar--and keep smiling.

If your spouse protests that it will cost more money for you to
eat better, prove that it won't.  The most expensive items at the
grocery store are the pre-packaged diet foods.  Don't buy them.
Instead, simply follow the "Real People Don't Diet" strategy with
the "real food" you're eating now.  

Stay off the scale and don't talk about what you're doing.  Don't
mention weight loss.  Just quietly and unobtrusively change what
you eat and how much you eat.  There are many ways to continue
serving favorite family meals while adjusting what's on your
plate--more salad and less spaghetti on pasta night, for example.
If you normally have a slice of Italian bread, skip it.  Or, have
half a slice.  Drink water or unsweetened iced tea instead of
a can of Coke.  

Within a month or two, your clothes will fit better and it will
be obvious you're losing weight.  As your family sees that you
are dropping pounds without suffering, they'll be much more
interested--and supportive--when you begin to share
what it is you're doing.

If you don't agree with me and still require support to be
successful, that's okay, I respect that.  We aren't islands
and we definitely need each other, and relationships, to have
fulfilling lives.

But for those of you who may be struggling in this area, I hope
I've given you a different way of looking at things, and something
new to try.  It certainly won't hurt!  :-)

As always, if I can answer any questions for you, please drop
me an email at cate AT realpeopledontdiet.com.

Keep it Real,

:-)  Cate

---

Lose weight, and while you're at it, lose your debt!  Leo Quinn has been
my friend for over 30 years and I can personally vouch for his debt payoff
system because I've used it myself:

www.OwnYourPaycheckAgain.com

~~~

 
I just became editor of the Home Finance section at BellaOnline.com.  I'm
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http://www.bellaonline.com/site/homefinance